Not a Real Hobby

If one could have forensic psychology as a hobby I would be up for that. It is difficult to find ways in which to apply this hobby, so let’s start with literature. Where is there a more abundant resource for subjects that you can’t directly examine? Start with gothic romance, since it is loaded with pathology, and therefore a good place to cut one’s teeth. In high school I hated Wuthering Heights, and hated my literature teacher more for making me read it, but after high school my life got boring and the escapades of Heathcliff and Cathy  were much more interesting. I think I can clear up all of the confusion between these two by diagnosing them with Narcissistic Personality Disorder. The two of them having that particular disorder explains away any question as to why they could never be together. Also, this diagnosis is not inclined to piss anyone off, since my reading of the symptomology leads me to believe that many people with that disorder lead their entire lives never knowing they have it, though I would imagine that many people around them are very aware of it.

I will warn you that taking up this hobby could very well ruin your enjoyment of gothic literature, since it requires you to be objectively analytical about subjects that are much better enjoyed with a romantic, subjective approach, and a suspension of disbelief. I would also encourage you to apply the practice strictly to fiction. Living subjects of non fiction may not enjoy being psychoanalyzed by amateurs with zero qualifications, and may lead to a libel or slander suit, depending on whether you published your findings, or just spread rumors. Dead subjects of non fiction take much better to being diagnosed, though their descendants, or experts may take exception to your labels.  Of course that doesn’t stop many people. My son has Asperger’s Syndrome and I am frequently amazed out how blithely people apply their amateur diagnosis to figures in history, and celebrities, but I digress.

Perhaps Literary Forensic Psychology could replace literature classes, book reviews, and other forms of critical analysis. In the back of the book where one might typically find book club notes there would be an addendum containing mental health assessment forms.  It would be like a choose your own adventure book. I think I would really enjoy it right up until the moment that people started adapting it for blog authors.

#classicliterature #horriblehobbies